A few weeks ago I came across this quotation from Thomas Merton, who died on December 10, 1968:
“But the man who is not afraid to admit everything that he sees to be wrong with himself, and yet recognizes that he may be the object of God’s love precisely because of his shortcomings, can begin to be sincere. His sincerity is based on confidence, not in his own illusions about himself, but in the endless, unfailing mercy of God.”
I struggle with accepting my limitations, my sins, my inadequacies. It’s so much easier to pretend that I am not perfect, but good.
But Merton is suggesting that the start of our life of faith is remembering what is wrong with ourselves – but not stopping there.
If I don’t recognize where I am wrong, I can end up thinking I am right and everyone else to wrong. I can find myself taking on a “god complex.”
A few months ago, I ran across these words of St. Thérèse of Liseux:
How happy I am to see myself as imperfect and be in need of God’s mercy.
Reflecting on these words, which mirror Merton’s, I wrote in my journal that morning. (This is slightly revised.)
How hard it is for me to acknowledge my errors, my failures! How difficult it is for me when I’ve made a mistake, when I’ve not done something as well as I think I could. How reluctant I am to face someone , to talk with someone, when I’ve not done something well or put things off. I am afraid of looking bad.
But St. Thérèse remind me that my imperfections could very well be the path to letting God’s love and mercy touch my soul, transform me, bring me to conversion.
Recognition of our sins and shortcomings, of our imperfections and errors, can open us to the mercy of God.
That too is at the heart of the Jesus prayer
Lord Jesus Christ,
Son of the Living God,
have mercy on me,